Collaborative Law Family Professional
(many call us “Neutrals”):

The role of a Family Professional is to help you, with your active participation, get ready for Collaborative Family Law, to help the process itself and to help manage the non-expected in one of the most challenging time of a family life.  This is actually the time, of all time, to treat people the way we want to be treated.  Because think about it:  it is mostly bound to happen like that.

To be ready to collaborate with maturity, we need to become committed to:

  • create safety in a very vulnerable time of our life;
  • work with compassion in mindful strategies;
  • be able to understand that we need to build a rapport that will make it as safe and secure as possible;
  • find where the conflict is;
  • address feelings of shame, guilt, fear, unfairness, and anger, in self;
  • learn to deal with feelings of shame, guilt, fear, unfairness, and anger in others in the situation;
  • prevent threats;
  • uncover and prioritize interests, build on needs, rather than wants;
  • know what the real needs are, the adults and the children ones;
  • know what the children healthy needs are in being wisely parented;
  • help prevent or manage “shallow thinking” and “do crazy”;
  • be able to have the responsible difficult conversations and negotiations we don’t want to have;
  • settle personal value before settling the separation and/or divorce;
  • address one’s ability to advance one’s interests and to manage power maturely;
  • know the source of power of each member in willingness to settle;
  • assess “comfort with money”;
  • find and address what’s the real issue underneath all of that;
  • look at how you’re going to deal with your children after separation/divorce for the rest of their life;
  • put an emphase on having to normalize pacing the process;
  • look at what we need to prepare for collaborative mature negotiations;
  • assess the area where you could feel out of control and manage the process so you feel heard and safe;
  • look at the psychological impact of the process and decision making;
  • ensure procedural fairness and bring each person’s voice to the table;
  • provide a reality check in a non-judgemental way;

In order to reach the effective teamwork, we need to be committed to:

keep negotiation on interests and needs [of children] rather than on the biggest slice of the pie.