“May we each do whatever we can to eradicate sexual [intimate] ignorance in our lifetime. May we create instead, a world in which sexual responsibility, wisdom and celebration prevail”

Patti Britton, The Art of Sex Coaching, p.1

What is “Wise Intimacy Coaching”?

Coaching is basically to support you achieve the goal, the outcome you want with your full committed participation, using the tools of the trade.  Coaching will help you reach, and utilize, your exhaustive potential, your Core Gifts when it comes to Wise Intimacy in your own life, in your own environment, according to you own purpose.  Coaches are not there to do it for you: that, wouldn’t be coaching.  For obvious reasons, when it comes to wise intimacy coaching, there has to be very defined and very healthy boundaries that we agree upon on the first session.

For many people, “Wise Intimacy Coaching” will help them make peace with “making love” with themselves and their intimate partner(s).  “Making love” is here, defined in a large, broad, sense.  It can be sexual, sensual, spiritual, emotional, intellectual, etc., whatever you want it to be.  So as we keep repeating, “making love” in “wise intimacy”, can be very physically sexual, and it may not.  I’ve seen either way in my clients when it comes to “making love”.

Wise Intimacy Coaching is in my view, a way to help you get intimately wiser in your life to reach your own outcomes.  And we all need that!  Actually, it is painful not to.  In a world where Artificial Intelligence and Digital Communications are developing at quantum speed, valiantly sustaining deep human connection is more crucial and vital than ever!  In order to do so, we have to consistently set strong boundaries on what is wise and what is not, when it comes to intimacy.  We also have to courageously define what is mature and responsible intimacy.  It can actually go quite far.  Will you be intimate, when you are in an interactive movie with characters that are just projections?  [Here ACIM students know exactly what I mean…]  You may think I’m kidding.  You may think I’m taking it too seriously.  You may think that right now I am far out, but technology to do so is available and ready.  So you need to be prepared.  You need effective resources.  This is what you hear me call:  your Safety Net.

Once again, we have to state that wise intimacy is NOT only sexual.  Wise intimacy can be between 2 really BFF – you know the type of friend we jokingly say we want to keep forever because they know all the private details of our lives?  It can also be a deep connection with nature or with our prefered pet that digital communication will never replace.  Again, that kind of intimacy is not practiced with the sexual language.  Wise intimacy can be between a parent and a child, a bond that can last a lifetime, and this is never, sexual.  It can be sentimental and sensual.  It can be spiritual.  It can even be intellectual.  I’ve met my share of individuals on the Autism Spectrum Disorder that can be quite intimate, if we broaden the definition of intimacy!  Sex and wise intimacy coaching is way much more than solely coaching erotism, (though erotism doesn’t hurt)!

I will repeat ad nauseum that for intimacy to be wise, it has to be safe.  We have to be committed to be responsible and mature to ourselves and to others, to be wisely intimate.  At times, we need coaching, to find our intimate responsible boundaries.  At times, we need coaching, to come back inside our boundaries.  Once we coach you and the Safety Net is set and tested, you can start practicing honesty, integrity, authenticity in intimacy with courage.  This is all very vulnerable for the typical people in our Western society.  This is even more courageous for the entrepreneur that lives a life of “production”.  This is also intrepid for the recovering addict who took every possible escape to never have to go deep for it is the biggest phobia there is in addiction…  This is why we have to set and test the Safety Net first.  And we can have more than one Safety Net:  one for your own and ones for every dyad or couple you belong to, again: sexual or not.  Once we got your active participation and the basic work is done, we can coach you to daringly venture and move the dynamic as deep as you safely desire to in your own life.

For intimacy to be wise, it also has to be forgiving.  And the first one we need to forgive is always, ourselves!  [here again, ACIM students!]  We all, make mistakes!  We all want a perfect world, but none of us is free of mistakes.  Some folks make smaller mistakes than others.  And time change.  And cultures change.  And what appeared “normal” back then in our families and societies, may not be acceptable anymore.  Real “Wise Intimacy” needs a space to negociate “mistakes”, “miscommunications”, and the like.  Real “Wise Intimacy” will not put it’s head in the sand.  (Step 4 and 9???)  We all want a chance to be supported to get better.  Isn’t it what coaching, counselling and therapy is all about?

For all of you who want to dig into making intimacy “wise”, we are also developing a “Wise Intimacy Program” in 4+ levels that goes from “Level 1: Introduction To Wise Intimacy With Myself” to teaching our program yourself in “Level 5: I’m Passionate About Teaching Wise Intimacy”.  The levels are done during 3 and 4+ days workshops with or without a partner of your choice.  We are also developing online tutorials and courses as well as working very hard at producing a Youtube Channel that will deliver.